How do you not engage in diet talk, healthism and body bashing over the holidays?

It seems to be the topic of discussion in many families. Many of us come from families where there is intergenerational dieting trauma, so family gatherings can bring up feelings of vulnerability. There is a tendency to commiserate over the disdain we have for various body parts: arms, belly, butt, thighs. “If I could just lose those last ## pounds, I’d be happy,” is a common refrain. Another insidious variation of this is gossiping about how someone has gained weight and, ‘let themselves go.’ And for some reason people will engage in this kind of talk in front of actual fat people!

When you’ve made the decision to stop dieting and accept the body you have, the holidays can sometimes feel like a minefield.

This is especially true if you are new to Intuitive Eating and body acceptance. Those comments that used to feel normal (even if they stung a bit) can now feel like an assault during the first diet free holiday season.

What can you do?

I recommend simple direct statements when people try to engage you in diet talk, healthism and body bashing of themselves, you or others:

I don’t diet, I listen to my body.

My body came with an instruction kit for how to eat: hunger, fullness and satiety cues. It’s amazing!

I’m comfortable eating a variety of foods.

All foods fit for me.

I don’t restrict food.

Look at all this amazing food. Let’s enjoy ourselves.

I don’t associate guilt with food.

I don’t need to trick my cravings.

It hurts my heart when you bash your body.

Please don’t comment on my body.

Bodies come in all shapes and sizes

You can’t tell a person’s health status by their weight.

Pursuing health is not a moral obligation.

My weight and health status are not up for discussion.

Bottom line is you don’t have to go into an in-depth explanation to defend what’s working for you.

Over time you will find what works for you. You don’t have to win people over. If you can set a boundary that you’re not going to engage, that’s enough. I always recommend to regularly inoculate yourself from diet culture by listening to a non diet podcast, or reading a book (like Body Respect), and following non diet and size accepting people on social media. This is especially important during the holiday season, and equally important during peak dieting season in January.

With body, peace, & liberation,

Kathleen Bishop